Healing Isn’t Linear: What Real Progress Looks Like in Therapy
We love a good before-and-after story. The kind where someone hits rock bottom, has a breakthrough moment, and suddenly their life is perfect. But let’s be real—that’s not how healing works.
Healing is messy. It’s full of highs and lows, moments of clarity followed by moments of confusion. And that’s okay. The myth of “constant progress” can actually make you feel like you’re failing when you’re not. So let’s talk about what real healing looks like—and why setbacks don’t erase your progress.
The Reality of the Healing Journey
Think of healing like a spiral staircase. You’re moving upward, but sometimes it feels like you're going in circles. You might return to old wounds or patterns, but from a different perspective, with new tools and insights.
Here’s what that might look like:
🌀 Week 1: “I feel great! I’m learning so much in therapy.”
🌀 Week 4: “Why am I still feeling anxious? Am I even making progress?”
🌀 Week 7: “I handled a tough conversation way better than I would have before!”
🌀 Week 10: “I had a rough week and fell back into old habits. I feel like I’m back at square one.”
🌀 Week 12: “Wait—just because I struggled doesn’t mean I’m back at the beginning. I’m actually handling things differently now.”
Sound familiar? That’s real progress.
Signs You’re Growing (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)
✔️ You notice negative thought patterns sooner.
✔️ You recover faster from setbacks.
✔️ You set boundaries more confidently.
✔️ You’re more self-compassionate instead of self-critical.
✔️ Your coping strategies are healthier than before.
Small wins count. Therapy isn’t about never struggling again—it’s about learning how to navigate life with more self-awareness and resilience.
How to Stay Motivated When Healing Feels Slow
1. Track Your Progress
Use a mood tracker or journal to see how you’re changing over time. (Spoiler: You’re growing more than you think.)
2. Reframe “Setbacks” as Learning Experiences
Instead of thinking, I failed, try What did this moment teach me? Your brain is literally rewiring itself—growth takes time.
3. Celebrate Small Wins
Did you advocate for yourself in a difficult conversation? Did you choose self-care over burnout? Those are victories! Acknowledge them.
4. Give Yourself Grace
Would you tell a friend they’re failing just because they had a hard day? Probably not. Treat yourself with that same kindness.
You’re Still on the Path
Progress isn’t about never struggling—it’s about struggling differently. Every time you reflect, make a different choice, or show yourself compassion, you’re healing. Even if it doesn’t look like a straight line, trust that you’re moving forward.
